


Birthday Health

by antheia



Category: British Actor RPF
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-31 00:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13963902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antheia/pseuds/antheia
Summary: Dervla found the copy of Men's Health in Rupert's bedside drawer. She sent a photo to Anna. And then, well...





	Birthday Health

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta-ed silliness purely because I can.

Rupert surveys the table over his mug. It's littered with empty glasses and discarded napkins. The occasional crumb or stain peeks up through the crowded landscape. The centerpiece has long since been shunted to a side table so everyone could see each other. 

Dervla and Anna are just returning from seeing all the children to bed, and Toby is sauntering back to the table from the toilet. He slides a gift onto the table in front of Rupert, gently pushing the cake plate back. 

"Here you are, mate. Congratulations on your continuing descent into old age." 

Rupert glances up, bemused, at the smirking figure sprawled in the chair next to him. 

The box is beautiful, wrapped in a soft blue matte paper and adorned with raffia cord and a matching fabric bow. Toby's gifts are generally shoved into a bag of some stripe, with the occasional handful of newspaper as a nod to the notion of gift wrap. This is something quite else. 

He chances a quizzical glance at Anna, who just smiles conspiratorially at her husband before turning to refill hers and Dervla's glasses. 

He picks it up, surprised to find that it's light, but oddly balanced. He turns it around a bit, then pulls the ribbon over the corner and off. He fingers the ends of the package until he finds an edge, then begins tearing at the paper revealing a simple white gift box. 

Toby leans back in his chair, his legs dropping open even more. Rupert pulls the lid off the top of the box and begins pulling aside black tissue paper. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Toby grinning and he can hear Dervla and Anna leaning forward. 

Confused, he pulls out a box of tissues and the single largest bottle of Kiehl's moisturiser he's ever seen. When he spots what's beneath it, his face turns hot and his hands begin to shake. Toby is howling with laughter. Across the table, their wives are giggling and holding hands. Rupert stares at them each in horror. 

He sets the items he's holding aside, and pulls out a stack of slick magazine pages that have been autographed before being laminated. Each page features Toby shirtless and covered in a sheen of sweat, working out. 

"I heard yours was a bit overused and I thought perhaps you could use a more durable copy." 

Rupert sets it all down and reaches for his wine glass. 

"You're probably right, you old wanker."


End file.
